The B word

B as in Busy. People... what were you all thinking? ;-)

I don't know when I started cringing when I heard the word busy (I admittedly am guilty of saying it and yes, I cringe even when it comes out of my own mouth). 

"He's really busy right now."
"She's got a really important job."
"They travel a lot."
"They're just insanely busy."
"He said he hasn't had five minutes."
Or when you ask someone "How have you been?'' and they say ''Busy" instead of good. 

I'm sick of it. 

Busy gives you a way to ignore parts of your life that are falling apart and need attention. 
Busy gives you an excuse for poor performance. 
Busy is actually the new lazy.
Busy is an excuse for being scared. 

Super-busy = too busy for a relationship?

Like the time when I had a date - and my goodness I use this term loosely - with Mr. Hotshot. Good-looking, successful career but did not have time for anything. He cancelled on me three times (!!!) before our very first date (his reasons? delayed/cancelled flight, business meetings, and god knows what). 

You're a valuable person in your own right deserving love, care, trust, respect as well as time and effort. How can a relationship progress, experience commitment and intimacy if someone is pleading off with "Oh sorry love, I'm busy. Maybe another time"? 

• So they're so busy that they couldn't find two minutes in their day to text or pick up the phone?
• They're so important that you're not important?
• If they're traveling a lot, why bother?
• They're 'sooo busy'. Doing what? Saving the world? Running a country? Helping the hungry and the poor? They haven't had five minutes? Wow. I bet they have found 5 minutes to sleep, use the bathroom, hang around Facebook.

I don't buy busy. I'm not saying that people don't have busy lives. Guess what: we're all busy! Every one of us. Here's another reality check: Because we're all busy, no one cares about how busy someone else is. One way or another, we all make time for what's important to us. But using it as an excuse for why you don't make an effort is bullshit. Behind every excuse is the real reason. 

You love someone? Tell them. You want to see someone? See them. You want to do something? Do it. Stop making excuses. Prioritize. This does not mean making a to-do list. You need to list what you want in life. I guess being an adult means making choices. It means admitting that we cannot do everything and choosing to devote the time we have to what's most important. But please stop saying, "I'm busy". Just stop. Biggest observation: the "busiest" people rarely complain about being busy. They organize time, get a lot done, and take it all in stride...


Will I still have friends after writing this stuff? 

ps: I love you all hi hi